Once upon a time there was a drawer in a filing cabinet, and within the drawer there was one lever-arch file, two smaller files, an exercise book and lots of loose bits of paper.
Every so often in the past I would decide I needed to "do something about" the contents of the drawer, and I'd have a go at writing some of it up. The first lot ended up on some 3.5 inch diskettes, another lot is stuck on a 486 that is lurking in my office. Each time the format, the software, the hardware all got superseded.
So it was like painting the Forth Bridge - it never got finished.
In the meantime, time passed and self-publishing became much easier to do. But why even go that far ? Why not just get them out into the public domain ?
A combination of a flurry of "30 day challenges" on social media, and a large dose of nostalgia due to a weekend which included a school reunion, I set myself the challenge of writing up at least one of the old poems for the next 30 days. That should be easy right ? After all, they are already written so it is just a case of choosing and transcribing.
I started with the lever-arch file. Inside were poems I had written up and printed before. I started picking out the ones I liked most and posting them..... but didn't initially share at all. Those who did ask, got given the URL to take a look.
Half way through I had posted at least one, and sometimes more than one, every night - tally was at 33. However I had also cherry picked the ones I liked most from the first file, so was running back through it to see if my mood changed what I liked.
The next step was to dive into the rest of the box.... and I was surprised to find I had carried on writing beyond the Uni years. In my first years at work I was studying for my management accountancy exams in my spare time, and travelling "home" at weekends to ride my horse. I don't remember having much spare time - but I must have had enough time to both have the experiences and then write about them.
I've now posted 50 poems, including 3 tonight and I'm tempted to post one more because it "fits" with another I posted today. But I'm wondering whether I should pace myself in case I run out before I get to the end of next week (day 30).
What happens then ? Well if I can still find old poems I like and think are "good enough", I will carry on posting them. It may not be every night though, as there are other things in my life that will need my focus.
However something interesting is happening.... I'm finding there are things I want to write about *now*. So once the 30 days are up, I may start posting new things as well. If I feel brave enough !
And if I am brave enough, I will own up to a few more people about this site as well.
What have I learnt so far ?
That even talking to myself, I am not always brave.
That there are common themes and devices that I used (predictable, moi ?)
But there are also common emotions - I'm fairly consistent over the years ! (or perhaps I don't learn :( )
That my poems don't always rhyme (I had a memory of needing to rhyme things, but actually that wasn't the case).
In many cases I can spot what experience triggered the poem.... but not all.
And in some cases I can spot what music I was listening to - in some cases I was deliberately playing with a theme I heard, but in others I think it was more a lack of originality :(
At the end of the challenge, and I am hoping have formed a new habit. I might not post new/old things every day, but I do hope to carry on posting.
I'm still finding it fairly scary to share. And there seems to be more in the area of "love" and "loss" than "lust". I'm not sure if I wrote less about lust than I thought, or have simply filtered those poems out when choosing what to post here. I will try and be braver !
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